The Real Reason You’re Not Writing
Why Your Writing Struggles Might be About Mindset, Not Skill
I’m in several writing groups on Facebook, and it’s common to see posts from writers who are struggling. They can’t manage to sit down and write, can’t get words on the page when they do, or they worry their ideas have already been done. And, often, these posts are met with reasonable, practical advice from others: schedule writing time into your calendar, turn off your Wi-Fi so you’re not distracted by social media, get up early before the kids wake up, etc. And while these are all great suggestions, my concern is that they might actually be focused on the wrong things.
As a book coach with a background in mental health counseling, when I see these types of issues crop up for a writer—either in a writing group or with my own clients—I tend to read between the lines. And my guess would be that often the problems these writers are identifying aren’t the root issue—they’re merely symptoms of something bigger.
Mindset issues and self-limiting beliefs aren’t always as obvious to the writer themselves, but these are often the root causes of writer’s block, imposter syndrome, procrastination, etc. And while suggesting a writer schedule writing sessions in their planner and switch up their writing environment might result in some positive changes at least initially, if they don’t identify and resolve the underlying mindset issues that are really holding them back, they’re likely to keep bumping up against them and continue to struggle to finish a manuscript.
What Are Self-Limiting Beliefs?
Self-limiting beliefs are beliefs we hold about ourselves and the world that keep us stuck. They can be about writing, specifically, but often they’re more pervasive than that. These beliefs might be views we hold about our own abilities and worth in general that then seep into our writing life. Because these beliefs are often deeply ingrained in our minds, they tend to pop up automatically, and we tend to accept them as facts rather than pausing to question their validity.
Self-limiting beliefs often stem from our childhoods, from statements parents, caregivers, or teachers made about our abilities or how the world works that we internalized and adopted as our world view. But they can also develop from experiencing failures around something meaningful to us or from societal values and expectations that we internalize. If left unquestioned, these beliefs can keep us from chasing after our dreams, including the dream of writing a book.
Some common self-limiting beliefs writers experience include:
“I’m not a real writer”
“No one would be interested in what I have to say”
“I don’t deserve to take time away from my other responsibilities to write”
“I’m too old to start writing”
“If it’s hard, that must mean I’m not good enough”
These beliefs often run through our minds so automatically that we don’t even recognize that they aren’t facts. Sometimes, we don’t even realize these are the thoughts getting in our way. Instead, we clear our schedules and sit down with a blank word document only to be left wondering why no words will come. We don’t realize the reason we can’t get words on the page is because we’re feeling guilty for sitting in our office trying to write while our family fends for themselves on the other side of the door. Or that a deep-seated fear of being called out by others for being a fraud is sabotaging us before we even begin.
Self-limiting beliefs are the pesky mindset blocks that keep many writers from starting or finishing their manuscripts. But the good news is, once we’re able to identify these thoughts and see them for what they are, overcoming them is fully within our control. And while it isn’t easy to overcome them, it’s absolutely worth it. Because once those beliefs have been challenged, they lose their power. Once we know how to call these beliefs out for what they are and overcome them, we’re free to work toward our writing goals without continually tripping over these thoughts again and again.
Are Self-Limiting Beliefs the Root of Your Writing Struggles?
Writers, understandably, often focus on the symptoms their self-limiting beliefs create and put their energy towards resolving them. But this is the equivalent of putting a bandage on a wound that really requires stitches. It might help to a degree, but without resolving the self-limiting beliefs, you’re likely to continue to struggle with your writing.
Here are some signs that self-limiting beliefs may be at the root of your writing struggles:
1. You schedule time to write but don’t get much writing done
If you regularly carve time out for writing, only to get to the end of your writing time with little to no words written, it’s likely something deeper is going on. Of course, there will be times when you have an “off” day and can’t focus, but if you regularly leave your writing sessions disappointed that you didn’t make much progress, it’s likely the issue isn’t finding the time but a self-limiting belief interfering with your ability to write the words.
Ask yourself: What thoughts went through my mind as I tried to write?
2. You do everything but write
While all writers can benefit from taking some craft courses, doing some research, and/or outlining their books ahead of time, if you find yourself continually feeling like you need to learn and plan even more before you can actually start writing, it’s likely that you’re sabotaging yourself by procrastinating.
Ask yourself: What am I avoiding by keeping myself in prep mode?
3. You say you don’t have time to write, but you haven’t actually looked for the time
It can be easy to assume we don’t have time to write when life feels busy day in and day out. But often, telling ourselves we don’t have the time is merely a convenient excuse to avoid having to actually write. Often, when I’ve encouraged my clients to sit down and look for pockets of time when they could work on writing, they’re able to find some. It’s not always long, uninterrupted stretches of time, but even 15 minutes here and there can add up to big results if you’re willing to fully focus in those moments.
Ask yourself: Have I honestly looked for the time to write? If my writing were an important meeting or appointment, would I be able to find the time for it?
4. You believe you don’t deserve to take time to write unless you can earn good money from it
Our society is extremely hustle-oriented these days. With the rising cost of living, it’s no wonder we’re often sent the message that unless something will make us money, it’s not worth our time and effort. I often hear this belief from mothers who feel the time spent away from their children isn’t justified unless their efforts will result in a “paycheck” to help support their family. But writing is about more than just money, and trying to force ourselves to write what we think will sell when that may not be what we want to write can suck the joy out of the writing process and leave us feeling like our efforts are wasted.
Ask yourself: Why do I feel I’m unworthy of the time to dedicate to a craft that brings me joy, even if it may not ultimately earn me a living?
5. You’re afraid to be seen or judged by others
Writing is an incredibly vulnerable act. Whether we’re writing fiction or nonfiction, putting something we wrote out into the world for others to read allows them to peer into our minds and our souls, to see us in ways we may not openly share. And often, the fear of being judged by others for what we write holds us back from writing in the first place. After all, if you don’t finish writing something, you can’t put it out into the world for others to read. Your mind convinces you it’s keeping you safe by not allowing you to finish your book.
Ask yourself: Whose opinion am I most afraid of—and why? What’s the worst that could happen if I put this story out into the world?
Next Steps
These beliefs are quiet but incredibly powerful in sabotaging our writing. If you’re noticing these patterns in your writing life, the issue may not be time, skill, or motivation, but a deeply ingrained self-limiting belief preventing you from getting words on the page no matter how many practical steps you take to make that happen. As I often tell my clients, no matter how talented a writer you might be, if you don’t believe in yourself and your story, you won’t finish your manuscript. You’ll simply continue to battle your negative thoughts.
But you don’t have to keep fighting your self-limiting beliefs. Becoming aware of these underlying beliefs is the first step towards overcoming them. Whether you work through them via coaching, journaling, therapy, or trusted writing communities, actively challenging these beliefs and working to replace them with more positive ones can make room for a writing life full of progress, joy, and creative freedom.
If you’re looking for more direction on how to identify and overcome your self-limiting beliefs, my new book Write With Confidence is a great starting point. You can read it free in Kindle Unlimited or purchase you own ebook or paperback copy here.
